Pain...It's All Part of His Healing

I don't remember when it started...seems it was always a part of my life.  As far back as my memory takes me, I catch glimpses of me inflicting pain upon myself...the only means I knew to smother the vast array of emotions I was forbidden to express.

I do remember when it ended...that is quite clear.  October 20, 2007...You sent Your Word and healed me and delivered me from all my destructions.  You freed me from that destructive addiction of self-abuse.

Last month, You made it clear that I was to make the switch from Tysabri to Copaxone...and I had perfect peace.  I had no clue, administering these daily injections would resemble the self-inflicted horrors of my past.  I bring that needle to my skin and I tell myself it is for my good, not harm. I hesitate...my heart begging for a way out...refusing to abuse my body again.  Then, I remind myself that even you subjected yourself to suffering to produce perfection.  I push the button; the needle penetrates the skin; the tears swell as the sting of the medication spreads throughout my body...and I rest in the knowledge that your grace is enough for me, for when I am weak, You are strong.  

You knew what You were doing when You guided my doctor and me to make the switch to these daily injections.  You were completely aware of the memories that lay just under the surface of my mind...memories that would be rattled by this new form of treatment.  And You are still the God who heals and has healed me; the God who delivers and has delivered me; the God whose plans for me are for good and not for harm.

And so, in a few hours, I will once again load that syringe and administer healing to my body...relying on Your strength...trusting that You are using even this as part of Your healing and deliverance...Your plan for me.

So Many Brokenhearted

So many broken lives...so many wounded hearts.

You sent Your Word to heal them...yet they refuse to heed it and continue to suffer in pain.

You sent Your Son to bind up their broken hearts...yet they turn and walk away.

You are near to the brokenhearted...even then they don't acknowledge you.

Help me point them to You, Father...the One who is waiting to bind up their wounds and save those who are crushed in spirit. Help me point them to you.

O Lord, My Lord

O Lord, our Lord, how Majestic is Your Name, in all the earth.  

My own words are few this morning, Lord as I search for words to offer back to You for the many who are once again on my heart.  I am so thankful to have Your Word...words of truth...words of life...words of hope...words of peace...when I have no words of my own.

Be near to the many brokenhearted, saving all those who are crushed in spirit.  May those who are so downcast in spirit right now, put their hope in You...the Living God. May they pant for You, as a deer does for water. Direct them with Your love by day and sing over them with Your song at night.  

I pray they seek You first for all their needs, knowing that You are El Shaddai--their all sufficient one--and You will supply all their needs...adding all things unto them.  I pray they will wait upon and put their hope in You and as they do that You will renew their strength...proving that You indeed are strong when they are weak...that Your strength is made perfect in weakness.  I pray they will run into You...their mighty strong tower.  

I pray they will put on their armor daily, not forgetting any part...the shield of faith...breastplate of righteousness...feet shod with the gospel of peace...helmet of salvation...feasting on Your Word which is their sword....belt of truth to counteract those lies of the enemy...and above all to cover themselves in prayer.  And I do pray that they will know the truth. So many are being deceived by lies. I pray they will know Your Word--the Truth--for in knowing the truth, they will be set free.  

I pray they will learn to persevere through trials...knowing that You have allowed them to perfect them...so that they may be made complete, lacking in nothing.

Father, thank You for sending Your Word to heals us and for healing wounded hearts...every so tenderly...ever so beautifully.  What a beautiful event when two young women recognized unconditional love--probably for the first time in their lives--this past weekend.  Thank You for allowing me to witness that, firsthand. 

Thank you for being who You are.  O Lord, My Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Oh How Natural It Is

This is an article I wrote in January 2009 that is the basis for the class I taught this morning.  It is Part 3 of a three part series, entitled Understanding the Father's Love.  Click on the links, within the article, to read Parts 1 and 2.  

Our Response

Oh How Natural It Is

^©By Debbie Guinn 
"We love because He first loved us.”

1 John 4:19

Last January—January 6, 2008, to be exact—our pastor preached a sermon that has continued to make an impact on my life, even today.  This sermon, titled “Resolutions to Remember” was not your ordinary new year’s resolution pep talk.  It was taken from Matthew 22:34-40 and he challenged us with two resolutions that we not only should make but also showed us how those were resolutions that we could keep all year long…and longer. 

In Matthew 22:37, Jesus tells the Pharisees that the greatest commandment in the law is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”  Our number one resolution should be to love God with all of who we are…with every single fiber of our being.  Our pastor explained how we often try to put God as our top priority, placing family, friends, careers, etc. in a priority list under Him.  However, that doesn’t work because we often end up separating God out from those other things.  He explained that loving God should be our defining priority—like the center of a wheel—with all of the other things in our lives stemming out from Him (like spokes).  When loving Him is our defining priority, it will influence every other relationship and commitment we have in our life.

Jesus goes on in Matthew 22:39 to say that the second greatest commandment is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Many people have used this verse to say that Jesus is telling us we need to love ourselves before we can love others.  However, that isn’t what Jesus is saying.  He was talking to the Pharisees who had no problem loving themselves; they thought quite highly of themselves already.  Jesus is saying that we are to love others in the exact same way that we love ourselves…to elevate others to the same level we value ourselves. 

Notice that verse 40 says “All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."  Think about that for a minute.  If I steal, bear false witness (lie), commit adultery, dishonor my parents, covet, etc., my attitude is in a place that says I am of more value than you.  Do you see how all these commandments are summed up under this one?  The Pharisees had created hundreds of laws but all of the God given laws go back to these two commandments right here.

I am constantly amazed at God’s perfect timing.  I have longed to finish the series I started back in June on Understanding the Father’s Love.  Month after month, I have sat down and tried to write this third segment but God has redirected me to another topic.  Today, however, I see how perfect His timing is as I remember just how much He taught me in this very area one year ago today when He convicted and challenged me in my own heart to respond to His love for me by loving in return.

Understanding my Father’s love has been a step by step process for me…one where each step has built on the other. Since it has been so long since I’ve written on this subject, I do want to do just a brief review of what I’ve talked about already.  The first step for me was to fully understand that father/child relationship with my Father…to see myself as a Daddy’s girl.  To read more about this, check out the June article, Daddy’s Girl.  Once, I clearly established that relationship, I began to understand more of the width and length, height and depth of Christ’s love. As I did, I found that I was able to trust God more and more with my life…finding that His love for me was perfect and perfect love does indeed cast out all fear.  My July article, Freedom from Fear, talked about the incredible freedom from fear that I have found as I have learned to trust His perfect love for me.

That brings us to this article.  As I began experiencing freedom from fear, that freedom went far beyond the basic fears of something terrible happening to one of my children, financial ruin, etc.  I also found myself free from other fears such as the fear to love.  I opened my heart to God’s love, trusting in His perfect love, and discovered I was no longer afraid to love…to love not only God but others as well.  So, how could understanding my Father’s love for me enable me to love others without fear?

I didn’t exactly jump from understanding God’s love for me to being able to love others.  It began with loving Him, first and foremost.  Loving God actually came somewhat easily once I understood just how much He loved me.  It really isn’t hard to love those we know truly love us; it just seems to come naturally once that trust is developed.  When we know we are loved by a parent, spouse, or friend, our natural response is to love them in return.  It is the same with God.  The more I comprehended just how deeply God loved me, the more in love with Him I became.

Last January 6^th, I made a commitment to God to make loving Him my defining priority. That sermon made so much sense to me.  I had tried for years to make Him my top priority and always failed because I never knew how to find time for all the other important things in life without setting Him aside.  When I heard that simple concept of making Him the defining priority, rather than the top priority, it all made sense.  My constant prayer this year has been that loving Him would be at the center, influencing every single thing that I do.

As I began to really focus on loving God, I noticed a connection between loving Him and being loved by Him.  I so wanted to love Him with every ounce of my being, not because I was commanded to but because the more I understood how much He loved me, the more I wanted to love Him in return.  It was just this natural sense of wanting—a yearning with all that was within me—to love Him in return.  I didn’t need a command to make me love Him…I longed to love Him.  1 John 4:19—“ We love because he loved us first.”—took on new meaning for me.

I am able to love, not only God but others as well, because He loved me first.  It is His love for me that enables me to love.  1 John 4:7-8 begins with a command to love one another.  However, it explains that love comes from God. I must first know God and be born of Him in order to love; I cannot love, if I do not know God because God IS love. As I learn to accept, receive and trust His love then I am free to love in return…and oh how wonderful that freedom is!

It doesn’t end there, though. 1 John 4:11-12 says “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”.  The word we get “complete” from in the Greek means "to bring to an end by completing or perfecting; to add what is yet wanting in order to render a thing full.”  It is in loving others that God’s love comes full circle so to speak.  All emptiness and longing to be loved is made full—is perfected and made complete—when I love others out of His love for me.

I am able to love because He loved me first. The more I understand God’s unfathomable love for me, the more I find it impossible to keep that love to myself. I am free to love and long to love God with all of my heart, soul and mind and to love others as myself. As I do so, the deep longing that I’ve always had to be loved is being filled to overflowing with the most perfect love imaginable…the love of my Father.

I challenge you to make loving the Lord your God with all or who you are your defining priority this year…your Number One Resolution. My second challenge is that loving your neighbor as yourself—placing the same value on others as you do yourself—will be your Number Two Resolution. If you can’t do those two things, then I pray that you will ask the Father to help you understand his love for you. (My two previous articles on Understanding the Father’s Love—Daddy’s Girl and Freedom from Fear—might help.)

May you Press in to Him in 2009!

Healing my Wounded Heart

God is ever faithful and He is at work, healing my own wounded heart.  I was to teach in my Sunday School class today...teach about our Response to our Father's love.  What should our response be to His amazing love?  Quite simply loving in return...loving Him and loving others. 

I didn't want to teach.  I didn't feel what I knew was in that lesson...how understanding His love sets us free to love because we can trust our Father to only allow people in our lives who are ultimately for our good and His glory. But I prepared my lesson, out of obedience to my Father, who does love me, and is faithful to only allow what is good for me.  It may not always feel good at the moment but it is good and He knows that.  

As I prepared and as I taught, a little part of me began healing as my precious Father taught me those powerful truths once again.  Thank you Father for the process you are taking me through of healing my wounded heart.  I know this is all part of a much bigger work you are doing in me...much deeper things you want to teach me...much greater plans you have for my life.

Take Up Your Bed...And WALK

Take Up Your Bed…And WALK^©

By Debbie Guinn

Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.”

John 5:8 (NKJV)

About three weeks ago, I developed an ear infection that brought my life to a screeching halt. Not only was I in excruciating pain, I was also experiencing a great deal of vertigo, balance issues and severe hearing loss. After two weeks and two different antibiotics, I returned to my physician thinking I had not responded to either of the antibiotics because I felt no better. The doctor looked in my ear and informed me that the infection was gone but I had a lot of fluid built up in the middle ear. My sinuses were blocked, not allowing the fluid to drain properly. Fluid was causing all the current pain, hearing loss, and vertigo…not infection.

I see such a parallel in this illustration and the way many of us—myself included—often responds to God’s healing in our lives. We pray for healing in certain areas and He is faithful to heal. Yet, we do not recognize the healing when it comes. We continue to live as broken, wounded victims, unable to experience the healing we have received because of fear, doubt, unforgiveness, and more.

In John Chapter 5, Jesus meets a man, at the pool called Bethesda, who has been sick for 38 years. This man has been lying on a mat by the pool, hoping to be the first one in the pool when the angel stirs the waters, so that he might be made well. However, he is so weak and feeble; somebody always beats him into the water. Jesus, knowing how long he has been sick, asks him if he wants to be made well. I find his response quite interesting. He never answers Jesus question. Instead, he gives the reason for why he cannot receive the healing offered in the pool. In verse 8, Jesus says to the man, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” Verse 9 goes on to tell us, “And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked….”

Let’s break this story down just a little and see how it applies to our own lives. The first point I want to make is that Jesus not only knew the man was sick, He even knew how long he had been sick. He knows all about our wounds: what or who caused them, how deep they are, and how long they have been there. Just like with this man, nothing is too severe for God to heal. It does not matter if it is a one-week old, a 38-year old, or even a 98-year old wound. God sent Jesus to heal us (Psalm 107:20, Luke 4:18) and He did not put limitations on that healing.

Another thing I find in this story comes from verses 6 and 7 when Jesus asks the man if he wants to be made well and the man’s response is not a “Yes” or “No” but rather excuses for why he is not yet healed. During Jesus’ time on earth, we often heard Him say, “Your faith has made you well.” He didn’t say that to this man; this man did not have faith. However, God healed him despite his lack of faith. God does not base His healing on our faith. He heals because He desires to see His children whole. Sometimes, He wants to test our faith in the situation. Other times, He simply wants to lavish His love on us, His children. In this case, this man had all but lost hope and faith in ever getting well. God chose to show His power and in doing so caused the man to have faith in Him, as we will see next.

This man had suffered from his ailment for 38 years. He was so weak that he could not even get himself into the pool before others. Yet, when Jesus told him to rise, verse 9 tells us he was immediately made well. The Greek word for “rise” is “egeirō”. According to Thayer’s Lexicon, “egeirō” means to cause one down with disease—lying sick—to recover. When Jesus told this man to arise, He was pronouncing healing on him. This healing was instantaneous, leaving no room for doubt and this man suddenly had hope again…and faith.

How do I know he now had faith? Jesus did more than tell this man to arise. He also told him to take up his bed and walk. Verse 9 says the man was immediately made well, then goes on to say he took up his bed and walked. It would take a great deal of faith to pick up his mat and walk, after all those years of lying around too sick to even crawl a few feet to get into the pool.

That brings us to my main point…this man took up his bed and walked. After Jesus healed him, he could have stayed there on his pallet where he had grown comfortable in life. After all, he had no responsibilities, no demands, and no stressors. Oh my, he would have to take care of himself if others heard of his healing. People would not feel sorry for him anymore. Where would he live? What kind of trade would he be able to learn at his age? What if he tried to stand up and fell on his face? Everybody would laugh. What if he got sick again and lost his prime spot by the pool? It really would be safer to stay right where he was. He didn’t need to pick up his bed and take off on a hike to who knows where. He could just enjoy his healing from there. In fact, he could be a witness for Jesus, telling other sick people about how He healed him…from right there beside the pool.

That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Yet how many of us do the exact same thing? God heals us of the wounds from our past but we are afraid to take up our beds and walk. We ask God to heal us from bitterness and unforgiveness…and He does. However, we continue with our vow never to trust anybody…too afraid of being hurt again. We have become comfortable living as a victim—enjoying the sympathy of others—and allow fear, insecurity, doubt, and more to keep us living as if we are still that victim, long after God has healed us of abuse. God heals us of addictions or unhealthy lifestyles. Yet the fear of failing keeps us from taking responsibility in our lives. Therefore, we become stagnant…never moving forward.

The Greek word for “walked” is “peripateō”. Thayer’s Lexicon defines “peripateō”, “to make one's way, progress; to make due use of opportunities.” I just love that! When the man in John Chapter 5 took up his bed and walked, he was making his way, making progress, making use of opportunities…new opportunities presented to him because of the healing he had received. When God heals us, He presents us with new opportunities…opportunities to make progress…opportunities to walk in His healing. It is up to us whether we are going to stay by the pool or take up our bed and walk.

Jesus said in John 10:10 (MSG) “A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” Do not let the enemy steal the full, abundant life that Christ came to bring you by trapping “fluid in your ears”, long after your Father has healed the infection. Take up your bed and walk.