The Gift of Rain

Oh Father,

How thankful I am for your gift of rain today...such a pleasant sound to awaken me this morning.  My mind  so vividly pictured each raindrop washing away the pollen and drowning out the weeds that had wreaked havoc with my allergies the past two weeks.  And I mustn't fail to mention the cool breezes I imagined, with the promise of cooler temperatures, this rain is to usher into North Texas.  

I felt new energy rising within me as I considered the possibility of inhaling long, deep breaths of the outdoors, able to finally emerge from my home cocoon, after this long hot summer...ready for long walks, picnics in the park, and the community of neighbors.

Neighbors...that word quickly averts my mind to my neighbor, who has recently separated...then to my friend who made the heartbreaking decision to force her husband to leave, due to his repetitive abusive actions...and then another friend, trying to break a drug addiction and left her husband because he chose his own addiction over her.  I think about others left homeless from last month's floods and wonder how they feel about today's rains...or another who is about to be forced out of her home due to family drama.  

I think of those whose lives have been shattered by sin...some by their own choosing and some merely helpless victims.

And as I listen to the rain, my thoughts shift to thoughts of how You--Oh LORD, our Jehovah, the Almighty, self-existing One, I am that I am--can wash over all these needs...forgiving sins, healing wounded hearts. You are the healing rain who brings new, refreshing life to all which seems so broken, parched and desolate.  You are the way for the lost, offering hope to the hopeless, providing strength to the weary.

"What joy for those whose strength comes from you LORD, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.  When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.  The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.  They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem." Psalm 84:5-7 (NLB)

And so, once again, I cast my cares--for so many who are close and dear to me--at Your feet, knowing that You alone are God...You are faithful and You can be trusted.

So Many Brokenhearted

So many broken lives...so many wounded hearts.

You sent Your Word to heal them...yet they refuse to heed it and continue to suffer in pain.

You sent Your Son to bind up their broken hearts...yet they turn and walk away.

You are near to the brokenhearted...even then they don't acknowledge you.

Help me point them to You, Father...the One who is waiting to bind up their wounds and save those who are crushed in spirit. Help me point them to you.

How Do I Respond?

It was June 19th...a Saturday.  I was preparing to go on a much anticipated trip to Colorado, where my body would surely come to life in the mountains and cooler air...away from the scorching heat of Texas.  She stopped by the house to visit and during the course of the conversation, informed me that she and her boyfriend had made plans to move in together.  

It was August 1st...a Sunday.  I was relaxing at home after teaching a Sunday school class on our Father's love, followed by an hour of loving on God's precious little ones in the nursery.  I opened my email and listened as she shared a very secret part of her life...now ready to share with me and various others that she has a nearly three-month old daughter.

It was September 9th...a Thursday.  I called to ask a question about her daughter when she burst into tears, leaving me wondering what it was I said.  A few hours later, as we sat in the privacy of my bedroom, she confided her torment of an eight-year emotionless marriage, a recent emotional affair and being abandoned by friends in the process.

Three women, in three months...all dear to my heart...all living a life of sin.  

How should I as a Christian respond?  How do I respond?

In each and every case, God immediately brought to mind the story of the woman caught in adultery (John Chapter 8).  Three specifics phrases, spoken by Jesus, stood out to me.

     1) "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."(Vs. 7 ESV)  

         I cannot judge or condemn...for I have sinned. Even one sin disqualifies me.

     2) "Neither do I condemn you" (Vs. 8 ESV)

         Loving like Jesus means offering grace and forgiveness rather than condemnation.

     3) "...go, and from now on sin no more." (Vs. 8 ESV)

         I am not Jesus; nor am I the Holy Spirit.  Telling them to go and sin no more is not my place or responsibility. The Holy Spirit must convict them of their sin and bring them to a place of repentance.   My place is to help my sisters, who are caught in sin, meet Jesus face to face.  I do this by walking beside them; constantly pointing them to Him; teaching them to follow Him, so they will come to the place of sinning no more. 

Father, may I love as Jesus loved...in a way that reflects His forgiveness and grace, without condemnation...willing to walk beside...always pointing to Jesus.

Tu Fidelidad

(Turn off music player at bottom of page before playing.)

Tu fidelidad is grande. Tu fidelidad incomparable es. Nadie como tu bendito Dios. Grande es tu fidelidad.

Your faithfulness is great. Your faithfulness is incomparable. There is no one like You God. Great is Your faithfulness!

I praise You for who You are...that You are faithful and can be trusted.  I thank You for showing us yet again this week just how great Your faithfulness is...in my precious niece and great niece's lives, in my daughters' lives, in my own life.  How could I ever doubt You, Lord?  Yet, so often I do.

My heart is rejoicing at the way You have answered so many of my prayers this week...sometimes exactly as I have asked, sometimes above and beyond anything I could have ever have asked for or imagined, sometimes in a way I would not have hoped, but always in a way that was absolutely perfect, in accordance with Your will for our lives.  Yes, Your faithfulness is incomparable!

My heart is also heavy with burdens of so many friends who are hurting with various things right now.  I think of S & R, sifting through the news that the cyst on his brain is once again filling up with fluid...the surgery they hoped was going to cure him didn't.  I think of D, still in such excruciating pain, more than six weeks after her surgery.  I think of my sister, having major surgery today, due to a second battle with cancer...a new form of cancer...after being cancer free for five years.  I think of B, in the hospital, recovering from a brain injury caused by a head on collision by a drunk driver.

My heart breaks for C, J, M, S all struggling with deep, painful relationship issues...all with wounds so deep they find it hard to move forward in community with other believers...wounds that threaten to destroy them and the ministries You have for each of them.  Then there are D and J who lost two dear loved ones in their family this past week and the pain they are both experiencing right now.  I think of far too many to name, who are struggling with the emotional pain of rejection, abuse, divorce, and more...deeply wounded hearts.

You tell me in Your Word that when I am weary and carrying a heavy burden that I can come to You.  You tell me to cast all of my cares upon You.  You tell me not to be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving to present my requests to You.  You tell me to ask, seek, and knock.  And so, that is what I am doing.  I am once again, bringing my heavy load and laying it at Your feet, asking You to work on behalf of each of my dear friends and family members; seeking wisdom for any involvement You would have from me.

How reassuring it is to know that You never get tired of me asking, seeking and knocking.  You are never bothered or perturbed  when I come to You with the same request over and over again.  When You bring them to mind, I simply lay them before You, as often as the burden is on my heart.  But, I never need to pick them up and carry them again. For I am laying them at the feet of my God who is faithful...and can be trusted.  I don't have to take these burdens up again because I know I can trust YOU with each and every one of them. 

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,  Your faithfulness to the skies.  (Psalm 36:5)

"Know therefore that the LORD Your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deuteronomy 7:9

Seeking Him for Unanswered Questions

This past month has been a whirlwind, to say the least. Four weeks ago today, I was getting on a plane for Colorado, where I spent eight wonderful days in the Rocky Mountains with my daughter, Rachel, and some wonderful friends. After ten furious days filled with unpacking, laundry, repacking, doctor appointments, team meetings, teaching my women's Sunday School class, and celebrating my daughter's birthday, I boarded the plane once again...this time, heading for the mountains and mission field of Quito Ecuador, for eight days.

I feel like I should be writing a prayer update to my supporters--or at the least, updating my Facebook--letting people know how the mission trip went. Instead, I sit here, unable to do much more than cry out to my Father, God...searching for answers as to what it is that He is wanting to do in my heart.

The trip was amazing in many ways. I fell in love with so many of the children we worked with at Amor y Exparanza... 

as well as the majestic mountains which surround the city...a reminder that God is still God over this city full of poverty, crime and devastation.

I was in charge of the music for VBS and I have never experienced children worship like I did in Quito. I wanted to weep every single day as I watched those children embrace each other, lifting their hands, bowing to their knees in prayer, as they sang "Tu Fidelidad" (You are Faithful).

We saw God work in so many ways, answering on our behalf, as soon as we turned to Him in prayer.  (You can read more about the many answered prayers on our Quito 2010 blog.)

At the same time, my heart was struggling in ways I could not express...ways I had not anticipated.  A theme God had given me several months prior to this mission trip was "expect the unexpected from unexpected people."  I had shortened that to "expect the unexpected."  I must say I saw many unexpected things happen during this trip...much of it coming from unexpected people.  For example, I never expected those children to bless me like they did through their worship.  Oh, I expected to be blessed by them...just not to the extent I was through the way they worshiped in song.

However, when God gave me that phrase, I thought it meant only good things.  I never dreamed He was preparing me to face pain in areas where I least expected it and from people whom I least expected it....and I certainly never expected it to happen on a mission trip.  You see, as I headed to Quito, I was--in reality--expecting the expected from expected people.  I was expecting good from good people...whether it be those I came into contact with as I ministered at the school, did our work project, at the airport, or other places we went.  I was not expecting heartache and pain...other than that of seeing the suffering in Ecuador.  So, when it hit, I was not prepared; I was not expecting it...and certainly not from the sources from which it came.

I realize, however, that it is only a continuation of something God has been trying to teach me for the past several months...something I am desperately trying to learn...yet something I am still clueless as to what it is.  I feel there is a battle raging within me...one where a part of me wants to withdraw from the world and never write or speak again. In fact, I never want to open my mouth and utter a single word.  I'd rather retreat into my shell as the quiet, withdrawn person I used to be because I feel that is what others perfer.  Yet, I know God wants to teach me through everything that has gone on--not only this past week, but the past several months.  I know that He loves me too much to allow anything into my life that isn't ultimately for my good and His glory. Therefore, all of what has taken place is somehow a part of His plan and I will seek His face until He reveals it to me...however long it takes.

And so, I am pressing hard in to Him today...thankful that very few people ever read this blog...that it is a safe place where I can share my heart, along with what little I can right now about my trip.  I need time to process things and then i will share more with others when I am able..