The Gift of Rain

Oh Father,

How thankful I am for your gift of rain today...such a pleasant sound to awaken me this morning.  My mind  so vividly pictured each raindrop washing away the pollen and drowning out the weeds that had wreaked havoc with my allergies the past two weeks.  And I mustn't fail to mention the cool breezes I imagined, with the promise of cooler temperatures, this rain is to usher into North Texas.  

I felt new energy rising within me as I considered the possibility of inhaling long, deep breaths of the outdoors, able to finally emerge from my home cocoon, after this long hot summer...ready for long walks, picnics in the park, and the community of neighbors.

Neighbors...that word quickly averts my mind to my neighbor, who has recently separated...then to my friend who made the heartbreaking decision to force her husband to leave, due to his repetitive abusive actions...and then another friend, trying to break a drug addiction and left her husband because he chose his own addiction over her.  I think about others left homeless from last month's floods and wonder how they feel about today's rains...or another who is about to be forced out of her home due to family drama.  

I think of those whose lives have been shattered by sin...some by their own choosing and some merely helpless victims.

And as I listen to the rain, my thoughts shift to thoughts of how You--Oh LORD, our Jehovah, the Almighty, self-existing One, I am that I am--can wash over all these needs...forgiving sins, healing wounded hearts. You are the healing rain who brings new, refreshing life to all which seems so broken, parched and desolate.  You are the way for the lost, offering hope to the hopeless, providing strength to the weary.

"What joy for those whose strength comes from you LORD, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.  When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.  The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.  They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem." Psalm 84:5-7 (NLB)

And so, once again, I cast my cares--for so many who are close and dear to me--at Your feet, knowing that You alone are God...You are faithful and You can be trusted.

So Many Brokenhearted

So many broken lives...so many wounded hearts.

You sent Your Word to heal them...yet they refuse to heed it and continue to suffer in pain.

You sent Your Son to bind up their broken hearts...yet they turn and walk away.

You are near to the brokenhearted...even then they don't acknowledge you.

Help me point them to You, Father...the One who is waiting to bind up their wounds and save those who are crushed in spirit. Help me point them to you.

O Lord, My Lord

O Lord, our Lord, how Majestic is Your Name, in all the earth.  

My own words are few this morning, Lord as I search for words to offer back to You for the many who are once again on my heart.  I am so thankful to have Your Word...words of truth...words of life...words of hope...words of peace...when I have no words of my own.

Be near to the many brokenhearted, saving all those who are crushed in spirit.  May those who are so downcast in spirit right now, put their hope in You...the Living God. May they pant for You, as a deer does for water. Direct them with Your love by day and sing over them with Your song at night.  

I pray they seek You first for all their needs, knowing that You are El Shaddai--their all sufficient one--and You will supply all their needs...adding all things unto them.  I pray they will wait upon and put their hope in You and as they do that You will renew their strength...proving that You indeed are strong when they are weak...that Your strength is made perfect in weakness.  I pray they will run into You...their mighty strong tower.  

I pray they will put on their armor daily, not forgetting any part...the shield of faith...breastplate of righteousness...feet shod with the gospel of peace...helmet of salvation...feasting on Your Word which is their sword....belt of truth to counteract those lies of the enemy...and above all to cover themselves in prayer.  And I do pray that they will know the truth. So many are being deceived by lies. I pray they will know Your Word--the Truth--for in knowing the truth, they will be set free.  

I pray they will learn to persevere through trials...knowing that You have allowed them to perfect them...so that they may be made complete, lacking in nothing.

Father, thank You for sending Your Word to heals us and for healing wounded hearts...every so tenderly...ever so beautifully.  What a beautiful event when two young women recognized unconditional love--probably for the first time in their lives--this past weekend.  Thank You for allowing me to witness that, firsthand. 

Thank you for being who You are.  O Lord, My Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Tu Fidelidad

(Turn off music player at bottom of page before playing.)

Tu fidelidad is grande. Tu fidelidad incomparable es. Nadie como tu bendito Dios. Grande es tu fidelidad.

Your faithfulness is great. Your faithfulness is incomparable. There is no one like You God. Great is Your faithfulness!

I praise You for who You are...that You are faithful and can be trusted.  I thank You for showing us yet again this week just how great Your faithfulness is...in my precious niece and great niece's lives, in my daughters' lives, in my own life.  How could I ever doubt You, Lord?  Yet, so often I do.

My heart is rejoicing at the way You have answered so many of my prayers this week...sometimes exactly as I have asked, sometimes above and beyond anything I could have ever have asked for or imagined, sometimes in a way I would not have hoped, but always in a way that was absolutely perfect, in accordance with Your will for our lives.  Yes, Your faithfulness is incomparable!

My heart is also heavy with burdens of so many friends who are hurting with various things right now.  I think of S & R, sifting through the news that the cyst on his brain is once again filling up with fluid...the surgery they hoped was going to cure him didn't.  I think of D, still in such excruciating pain, more than six weeks after her surgery.  I think of my sister, having major surgery today, due to a second battle with cancer...a new form of cancer...after being cancer free for five years.  I think of B, in the hospital, recovering from a brain injury caused by a head on collision by a drunk driver.

My heart breaks for C, J, M, S all struggling with deep, painful relationship issues...all with wounds so deep they find it hard to move forward in community with other believers...wounds that threaten to destroy them and the ministries You have for each of them.  Then there are D and J who lost two dear loved ones in their family this past week and the pain they are both experiencing right now.  I think of far too many to name, who are struggling with the emotional pain of rejection, abuse, divorce, and more...deeply wounded hearts.

You tell me in Your Word that when I am weary and carrying a heavy burden that I can come to You.  You tell me to cast all of my cares upon You.  You tell me not to be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving to present my requests to You.  You tell me to ask, seek, and knock.  And so, that is what I am doing.  I am once again, bringing my heavy load and laying it at Your feet, asking You to work on behalf of each of my dear friends and family members; seeking wisdom for any involvement You would have from me.

How reassuring it is to know that You never get tired of me asking, seeking and knocking.  You are never bothered or perturbed  when I come to You with the same request over and over again.  When You bring them to mind, I simply lay them before You, as often as the burden is on my heart.  But, I never need to pick them up and carry them again. For I am laying them at the feet of my God who is faithful...and can be trusted.  I don't have to take these burdens up again because I know I can trust YOU with each and every one of them. 

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens,  Your faithfulness to the skies.  (Psalm 36:5)

"Know therefore that the LORD Your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deuteronomy 7:9

Healing my Wounded Heart

God is ever faithful and He is at work, healing my own wounded heart.  I was to teach in my Sunday School class today...teach about our Response to our Father's love.  What should our response be to His amazing love?  Quite simply loving in return...loving Him and loving others. 

I didn't want to teach.  I didn't feel what I knew was in that lesson...how understanding His love sets us free to love because we can trust our Father to only allow people in our lives who are ultimately for our good and His glory. But I prepared my lesson, out of obedience to my Father, who does love me, and is faithful to only allow what is good for me.  It may not always feel good at the moment but it is good and He knows that.  

As I prepared and as I taught, a little part of me began healing as my precious Father taught me those powerful truths once again.  Thank you Father for the process you are taking me through of healing my wounded heart.  I know this is all part of a much bigger work you are doing in me...much deeper things you want to teach me...much greater plans you have for my life.

Seeking Him for Unanswered Questions

This past month has been a whirlwind, to say the least. Four weeks ago today, I was getting on a plane for Colorado, where I spent eight wonderful days in the Rocky Mountains with my daughter, Rachel, and some wonderful friends. After ten furious days filled with unpacking, laundry, repacking, doctor appointments, team meetings, teaching my women's Sunday School class, and celebrating my daughter's birthday, I boarded the plane once again...this time, heading for the mountains and mission field of Quito Ecuador, for eight days.

I feel like I should be writing a prayer update to my supporters--or at the least, updating my Facebook--letting people know how the mission trip went. Instead, I sit here, unable to do much more than cry out to my Father, God...searching for answers as to what it is that He is wanting to do in my heart.

The trip was amazing in many ways. I fell in love with so many of the children we worked with at Amor y Exparanza... 

as well as the majestic mountains which surround the city...a reminder that God is still God over this city full of poverty, crime and devastation.

I was in charge of the music for VBS and I have never experienced children worship like I did in Quito. I wanted to weep every single day as I watched those children embrace each other, lifting their hands, bowing to their knees in prayer, as they sang "Tu Fidelidad" (You are Faithful).

We saw God work in so many ways, answering on our behalf, as soon as we turned to Him in prayer.  (You can read more about the many answered prayers on our Quito 2010 blog.)

At the same time, my heart was struggling in ways I could not express...ways I had not anticipated.  A theme God had given me several months prior to this mission trip was "expect the unexpected from unexpected people."  I had shortened that to "expect the unexpected."  I must say I saw many unexpected things happen during this trip...much of it coming from unexpected people.  For example, I never expected those children to bless me like they did through their worship.  Oh, I expected to be blessed by them...just not to the extent I was through the way they worshiped in song.

However, when God gave me that phrase, I thought it meant only good things.  I never dreamed He was preparing me to face pain in areas where I least expected it and from people whom I least expected it....and I certainly never expected it to happen on a mission trip.  You see, as I headed to Quito, I was--in reality--expecting the expected from expected people.  I was expecting good from good people...whether it be those I came into contact with as I ministered at the school, did our work project, at the airport, or other places we went.  I was not expecting heartache and pain...other than that of seeing the suffering in Ecuador.  So, when it hit, I was not prepared; I was not expecting it...and certainly not from the sources from which it came.

I realize, however, that it is only a continuation of something God has been trying to teach me for the past several months...something I am desperately trying to learn...yet something I am still clueless as to what it is.  I feel there is a battle raging within me...one where a part of me wants to withdraw from the world and never write or speak again. In fact, I never want to open my mouth and utter a single word.  I'd rather retreat into my shell as the quiet, withdrawn person I used to be because I feel that is what others perfer.  Yet, I know God wants to teach me through everything that has gone on--not only this past week, but the past several months.  I know that He loves me too much to allow anything into my life that isn't ultimately for my good and His glory. Therefore, all of what has taken place is somehow a part of His plan and I will seek His face until He reveals it to me...however long it takes.

And so, I am pressing hard in to Him today...thankful that very few people ever read this blog...that it is a safe place where I can share my heart, along with what little I can right now about my trip.  I need time to process things and then i will share more with others when I am able..