Longing for His Presence

Draw me into your presence, Lord

I fix my eyes on You.

Draw me into your presence, Lord.

I fix my eyes on You.

I want to see your face

Draw close in your embrace

And rest beneath the shelter of your grace.

In your presence, is where I want to be. 

^©Debbie Guinn 2008

Father, blogging is hard, writing is hard, thinking is hard...being real and vulnerable are hard.  

I'm not myself these days Medication, MS and pain are affecting me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually...and I don't want others to know.  I just want to hide and draw in to You...seek Your face...be in Your presence...it will all be better.  I'm struggling to find You...hear You...see Your face, feel Your warm embrace.  My mind is a maze of disconnected thoughts that can't seem to discern how to make sense of anything...not even Your Word...Your voice.  

I know You are here...You've promised never to leave me and You have proved faithful more times than I can count.  It's just another test of my faith...blind faith...to trust You even when I can't find You.  

Draw me into Your presence, Father...I fix my blind eyes on You.  And I sing with David...

"God, you are my God

I greatly long for you.

  With all my heart I thirst for you

in this dry desert

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sacred tent.

There I have seen your power and your glory.

Your love is better than life.

I will bring glory to you with my lips

I will praise you as long as I live.

I will lift up my hand when I pray to you.

I will be as satisfied as if I had eaten the best food there is.

I will sing praise to you with my mouth.

As I lie on my bed I remember you.

I think of you all night long.

Because you have helped me,

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I hold on to you.

Your powerful right hand takes good care of me."

Psalm 63:1-8 (NIRV)

Resting in your powerful right hand...Amen.

We Will Not be Shaken

Father,

I have so much on my heart this morning...yet once again my thoughts are so scattered and jumbled.   How thankful I am that You know all my thoughts--before I even think them--and Your Spirit intercedes on my behalf.  I have set You always before me.  Because You are at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

The needs of those I love and care about are so great, Father.  If not for You, things would seem so hopeless...overwhelming, at best.  But, You, Oh God, are faithful and can be trusted. I have set You always before me.  Because You are at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

I think of A and the custody battle she is facing...a battle in which she doesn't know where to turn for legal counsel...a battle she has no financial resources to fund...yet a battle she must fight or lose her precious B forever. My heart is breaking for her and I feel so inadequate to help her.  Yet, I know You have called me to do so.  You have placed her in my life and I will answer the call.  Guide me, Father, giving me wisdom and discernment to her needs...needs that go far beyond loving her and that precious baby.  Remind me not to lean on my own understanding but to trust in You and You will direct my paths...and more importantly A's. 

Lead us to the attorney You have picked out for A...one that will have B's best interest at heart...one that will fight for truth and justice...one that will be compassionate toward A's situation...one that will work with her financial status.  I pray too that You will place this in the district with a compassionate, understanding judge who will show favor to A. And I pray for the father, that his heart will be softened, that he will repent and turn back to You.  I pray this whole situation can be settled quickly, in the best interest of B.  I pray that A will keep her eyes fixed on You, that her peace will be great, and nothing will cause her to stumble.   Remind her that You, Oh God, are faithful and can be trusted. May she set You always before her.  Because You are at her right hand, she will not be shaken.

I think of C, going in for major surgery next Friday.  We've never been close and I don't even know how to reach out to her.  The enemy would like to take me places that I know are not of You.  Help me to keep my focus on You and how You want me to minister to my sister.  I pray that she will keep her eyes fixed on You and she will be in perfect peace...peace that surpasses all understanding.   Remind C that You, Oh God, are faithful and can be trusted. May she set You always before her.  Because You are at her right hand, she will not be shaken.

I also think of my dear friend, D.  Father, her surgery has left her in so much physical pain these last six weeks...not to mention being so isolated from people.  I am so thankful that she draws into You during times like these.  Still I've sensed--and even heard in her voice, the few times we'ved talked--that she is struggling with discouragement and depression.  I so long to be with her but can't, due to distance and my own financial resources.  

So, I am asking You to meet her needs, Father, in ways that only You can do.  Be all that she needs today, tomorrow, and everyday.  Be her companionship--or send people to visit--encouraging her and lifting her spirits.  Walk through the pain with her, giving her comfort and relief in the way and timing You know is best.  Draw her even closer to You during this time of physical healing...using it as a time of Spiritual healing as well.  I pray that D will continue to keep her eyes fixed--steadfast--on You and that You will keep her in perfect peace.   Remind her that You, Oh God, are faithful and can be trusted. May she set You always before her.  Because You are at her right hand, she will not be shaken.

I think next of several of my friends who are struggling with relationships.  I shudder, my own struggles in that area still raw, as I think of how the enemy is at work trying to keep us from being effective for You by tearing apart viable relationships with each other.  The phone call the other night made me realize how devastating some of these situations are...people withdrawing from ministry involvement because of them.

I pray for these gals--all such dear friends of mine--that they will seek You (and only You) for the healing they need...that they won't let the pain from these relationships allow them to build walls and wear masks that keep others out, preventing them from ministry and community with others, as You designed.  Help them to forgive as You forgave and to love as You love.  Remind them that You, Oh God, are faithful and can be trusted...even when people can't. May they set You always before them.  Because You are at their right hand, they will not be shaken.

Father, I admit I still struggle with some of the hurt from this summer.  I thank You that You have spoken so clearly to my heart and shown me that I cannot withdraw...that I must keep following Your calling for me...teaching me to forgive as You forgave and to love as You love.  So far, You've only led me to reach out in new areas...areas where I haven't had to deal with those who inflicted the wounds.  Wednesday night is going to be a big night for me as I obey You and attend the get together with women who hurt me so deeply.  Thank You that You, Oh God, are faithful and can be trusted.  I have set You always before me.  Because You are at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

You tell us to cast our cares upon You because You care for us.  I know this to be true. And so with a scattered brain, I haved poured out my petitions before You, with thanksgiving...for You are worthy of all thanks and praise.  And I thank You that I can go forth in peace...a peace that goes far beyond anything I could ever comprehend, amidst all the concerns flooding my mind.  What a release it always is to lay my requests at Your feet and to get up, full of such peace, reminded that You are faithful...You can be trusted...and I will not be shaken.